If it's one thing I enjoy doing, it is telling stories; my experiences and my thoughts. I mean, that is why I created Damdam.com. Even though I have become more lethargic. But you know what keeps me going? The reason why I started and your responses. Your feedback. Your comments. And I hope you don't stop.
You already have an idea of what I'm about to discuss.
Playing Jealous by Burna boy
This is something we've experienced, we're currently going through, consciously or unconsciously. Even Nollywood never fails to make a scene out of it.
Screaming Mama G!
And it's something we'll still encounter. However, I've had my own which I'd like to share.
At one point in my life, (2020 and a bit of 2021) I was getting pressured because of someone. He's a coursemate and a "celebrity" shoe maker. You may know him. I thought he was doing great. He had made shoes for different celebrities. For every time I saw his status about TG Omori wearing this product, Oxlade, Pocolee or a popular celebrity, lowkey, I would feel pressured. I wanted to have doings like that. He became a metric I used whenever I was discussing with people.
At that time, I didn't know what to do with my life. The only thing I seemed to be good at was poetry.
His WhatsApp status was like a TV series I was binge watching. While I was happy for him for the feats, in my mind I was still like "God, what am I doing with my life?" Joo get? You are happy for someone but you wished it was you. With a sprinkle of God abeg.
Eventually, I got over it. I had to calm myself down. I also realized the amount of work and the sacrifices he made and bruvv….
But, looking back, I realized that I was jealous because I was letting the pressure get to me. I never wished him bad. I was really happy for him but I also wished I had the kind of "fear." And fortunately for me, I found something I could effortlessly do. Slowly, I have improved on myself.
Does that mean jealousy is good?
Did it mean I stopped being jealous (not of him but generally)?
Don't mind Burna boy.
Yes. No.
You know there are cases where you see some situations but it doesn't get to you so you just ignore it. You've probably defined what "doings" means to you so those cases don't mean anything to you.
But what about cases where your friend or someone you know their history or a colleague, is becoming bigger and doing madly better? You may not get jealous immediately. In fact, you're their biggest cheerleader. But for how long? Especially when your life is stagnant. IKR, I have been there.
I knew I was jealous because I wished I was having those doingzzzzz. It wasn't just about how she created content, but how she spoke with so much knowledge and authority, how she had worked with many clients and how she had grown. Bro, I was envious. I didn't want to check her status 'cause most times, I marvel at how good she is, yet, wishing I were in her shoes. So I didn't want to be comparing myself.
After talking to AnikeBeloved (her DM is a good place to rant), I learnt that these feelings, being jealous, comparing yourself to others, are valid. Normal. And do not make you less of a human. Anike let me know that sometimes, it's good to compare yourself. It's a reminder that you have to work on yourself. And you can use it to help improve yourself. She made me understand that it is damaging when you let it ruin your joy.
Salem King (pronounced as Say-lem)
Salem King also, in one of his recent videos, made me understand that being jealous is normal. That it happens to him(if it can happen to Salem, who be you then?). Whenever he finds himself there, he asks God to help him. But if it's becoming frequent, he calls himself to order (so to say).
He further said that you have to be grateful for your own life too. Be grateful for your own doings too, how far you have grown. 'cause you're better than someone. Immerse yourself in these thoughts and become obsessed with the person you desire.
So you see, you're not a witch for being jealous as portrayed by Nollywood. If you notice the feelings are frequent, caution yourself, be grateful. Ask yourself questions like "why are you jealous?" "Is this who you really want to become?" "How can you improve on yourself?" Then take the necessary actions. But you should know that self development won't happen if you're not self aware.
Playing Back in Uni by Blaqbonez (Dunno why this song is coming here)
Till I write to you again…
But JYSK, if you start wishing someone bad because you're jealousy, you're more evil than Mama G.
Love,
Damdam.
P.S: I might not end the year single like you. Lol.
What do you think about jealousy? Do you think it's bad?
Have you ever been there before, what did you do to solve it?
Have you seen Blaqbonez's Back in Uni video? I think it's really creative of him and Perlicks. Ki lo feel?
I don’t think jealousy is bad cos when you’re jealous of someone you don’t wish them bad you just wish you could also do the things they are doing at least in my opinion.
And yes on some occasions I’ve been jealous for example when I see my mates going out and having fun i wish I could be like them but I’m too much of a homebody and how I’m solving it is pushing myself to go out once in a while and trying not to feel bad about being home all the time because it’s okay to be different and there are others out there like me.
I haven’t really watched blaqbonez video ive only listened to th…