First Borns Should Start Receiving Salaries As Assistant Parents. Don't you think?

I know right! That's why I'm here. But honestly, being a first born is not easy. Someone said it's a curse...

Do you think?

This conversation ehn

I would have started this post with something else but there you have it. At the time I was preparing this content, I wasn't having the best of time. And this conversation had to just come about. I know the person probably meant well but looking at the chat again reminds me of the hardship and "responsibilities" that comes with being a first born. First of all, if you're a first born reading this, God bless you. If you're female first born, God bless you very much. And if you're a male, "God bless you abundantly and may you always find clarity at any moment you're confused in life." My prayers for the male is a little intense, why? This is because being a male first born in Nigeria, is like being chosen to represent your country (Ukraine) in a war against Russia. I wouldn't want to be biased but being a male first born is hard. Harder, if your family is of the average type or below average. It's like life just decides to pick up a fight with you. Today's post feels like I'm ranting, perhaps it's because I'm a first born and I've had my share of the cake. Some people say firstborns are mistakes; experiments. Some say they hardly succeed. One person called it a curse...

The pressure alone is enough to deter one from success. Don't even mention the situation of the country. If you ask me, I don't know why it's like this. I guess it's just society. From the onset, the society has been patriarchal which shows the effect on the man especially if he's the first child.

He automatically be seen as the Martin Luther King Jr of the family. And if it's a female, she's seen as Queen Esther who's going to liberate her family from their dilemma. Maybe it's just their own way of believing in us but can they stop with the unnecessary pressure?

Playing Hustle by Teni

My parents don't try to put pressure on me directly but naturally, I feel the pressure from them, even within myself. I remember a moment during the ASUU stike, my sisters had gotten jobs and I was the only "jobless" one( well, I work with social media and blogging is also a job🙂). My youngest sister made a random statement, something about me having nothing to do or go. Which means I needed to get my ass doing something. Or I might just get mortifying comments. Although, she didn't mean any harm but I just got the notion that as a first born, I just have to be up and doing. But you know, being a first born can be exciting. You're given privileges in the house. After your parents, you're the next god. You automatically become an assistant parent. So, you can flex your first born prowess as you wish.

And if respect is really taken extra in your father's house, the prefix "bro" or "sis" becomes a title to your name. When you're younger, you get to share the meal or whatever gift you and your siblings get. And if your parents are the soft type, there's assurance that your property is more than others. I mean, who wouldn't want to be the first born? But being a first born really comes with a lot of responsibility and pressure. You're expected to be wiser and mature than siblings. You really can't afford to make mistakes. You are the ones to give to your siblings (I shamelessly receive from my younger siblings though). Everyone looks up to you, the assistant parent. Even your relatives look up to you. In fact, it starts from childhood. "Agbaya nie, can't you leave it to your younger one?" "Stop behaving like a child, you're the first born for Christ sake! You're the first born, you're supposed to take care of them" Of course. But I came to this world alone, why should I work myself to death for others? I may be my brother's keeper but I'm no saviour!

T for tenks!

But, a lot of times I wished I had an elder brother. Perhaps I would have learnt from his mistakes and he could give me the manual to this life. *** I know Nigeria is not smiling but don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. I learnt that and I'm still learning it. Give yourself room to breathe. Know that it's okay to fail. It's okay to fall. It's okay to cry. But remember to bounce back after you fall.

Gather strength after you cry. Take notes of lessons when you fail. Believe in yourself and the little things you do. That way, you become a better first born. And a better version of yourself. And don't forget to enjoy every moment of your life. You're not too old to have fun. You know what I've realized? Your love for your family will push you to do more for them. So regardless of the situation, let your love for them keep pushing you. Someone somewhere right now, wish they were like you. If you give up, you fuck up. So MAFO! P.S: Male or female, you're still the first born and not Jesus. Just do your best and leave the rest. Thank you for reading up to this point. Don't forget to subscribe and share! If you're a first born, please tell me how have you been able to deal with the pressure What's the best thing about being a first born? If you're not a first born reading this, appreciate your first born by sending them the link to this post. And tag and appreciate them.